On the way out  

(as adjective)
– In the process of becoming obsolete, but not obsolete yet
– Gradually ending or dying out
– In a dilapidated or disintegrating condition, typically about to fall apart
– At the point of death or losing one’s life

(as verb)
– In a period of decrease and/or decline

cited, somewhere

There is a specific scene to a post-war treaty. Everything is at a stand still today. I find myself at a crossroads, having completed a long and arduous “respect-building” project that was born of necessity. The people I encountered over the years, frozen in their beliefs, were all about survival and thriving. Permaculture, but accelerated with VC money buried in Silicon Valley startups that never emerge from ground. The books I devoured in search of self-awareness that was never too selfish, and empathy that was just the right amount of assertive (to be respected, cross-culturally, as I am); have now become symbols of wealth and anger. I once believed that these things would help me thrive, but now I see that they were simply stepping stones towards my ultimate never-ending task of survival.

Perhaps because my blood is made of the live substance that turns rage inward.

He had a point. 

Something, something, dressed up in a wise man’s words that is not him.

I am also capable of revenge. 

But, everyone knows: revenge is boring when you are brilliant.

That it’s only through pouring our hearts out do we actually end up seeing any friction worthy of observing.

Let alone fiction worthy of writing.

I guess I wanted to write something, more than I wanted to continue to write myself by existing and spreading exuberance in the job market. 

I know a lot of frameworks, tools, first principles, technology, culture, spiritualism, psychology, meaning, and can pierce into your soul— but at what cost? 

And most importantly; what for? I am not rushing to get dinner on any tables.

Best to save tyrannical behaviors for answers, rather than creations.

I have money and I’m nobody!

I have money and I’m nobody!

I have money and I’m nobody!

HURRAH!

Footnotes 

[1]  Blog’s title implies chasing coyotes, despite the author’s intention to not see them.

Little Bear Woman said, “I said I’d respond, and I have no responses.”

“So, what else is new?” says Coyote.

Little Bear Woman thought, “She’s right. It happens all the time. The dream where I stand up to play the viola concerto, only as I stand up it occurs to me that I have never learned to play the viola. The voice in the silence of three in the morning that says inside my head, Why did you say that to the dean’s wife at dinner? The supermarket checkout where you open your bag to pay and your wallet isn’t in it. The child that asks you, But do the soldiers want to kill me? The jailed poet in a foreign country whose silence asks you continually, How long will you, who are able to speak, be silent? The Sphinx that asks you what goes on four and two and three legs in Greek and you don’t speak Greek so the Sphinx eats you. The labyrinth you can’t get out of because you aren’t the one with the sword and the thread, you aren’t the hero but only the monster, the animalhead, the dumb one who doesn’t have the answers.”


“Happens all the time,” says Coyote. 

“That’s what myths do. They happen all the time.
Presence of myth in contemporary life, and vice versa.
You are a Myth who married a History, and you both have to make the best of it.
Think yourself: articulate: be still. Each at the appropriate time and in the appropriate place. Have you seen any mice around this house?”
 

THE WOMAN WITHOUT ANSWERS (1984), by Ursula K. Guin